I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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