So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
