Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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