I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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