I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
