I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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