I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can I color on your dick again?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
