you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
