I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
