just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
