I wish I only lived at night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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