omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
