I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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