This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
