we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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