i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
