Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
