After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
