Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
