It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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