Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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