He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Mom said you looked used
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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