You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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