oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
