She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I sprained my soul last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
