I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
