For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
