I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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