Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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