no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize