I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
