We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
