I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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