just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize