if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i don't like sucking hair
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
smell my finger.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
