just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
