I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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