Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
