I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
