Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
