Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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