About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
