Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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