oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
