We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
