I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
