Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
