at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
