Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
