Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
