I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
