Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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