Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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