I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize