piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize