Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
