dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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