I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
